Afghani Stan Sand Squid

Here is a tune you might remember, I have changed the lyrics to fit my situation.

Afghani Stan Sand Squid (sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Come and listen to a story about a man named Wade
an old Navy man, nearly put his papers in.
Then one day, he was working on some bills,
and out from the phone came a jingling sound

Call that is, recall, Augmentee.
Well the first thing you know old Wade's an active guy.
Reserve folks said, "Wade move away from there."
Said "Middle East is the place you out to be."
So he loaded up his bags and moved to Afghani

Stan, that is, desert sand, Taliban.

It's kind of interesting how life here is like a TV show, only it is in reruns. There is a saying here regarding deployment, "Groundhog Day" because pretty much most of the days are the same. We get up, we work, we eat, we sleep, try to entertain ourselves and then we do it all over again just counting down the days. I do get the benefit of having a pretty dynamic job however, so there are many opportunities for me to keep very busy trying to solve the problems of the supply system over here. It is much different than being in the states where we can get supplies relatively quickly. Here the lead times on getting goods can be 6 months due to the need to contract for everything. There is much to do if we are ever going to get Afghanistan to be a world class supply chain. Of course, we are here to make it better and every day that is what we strive to do, make it better, one step at a time.

I was sipping on can of Diet Pepsi (they don't have Coke Zero here) and I wondered when was the last time you saw a pull tab on a can of soda in the states. I think we got rid of them back in the 70's. Here in Afghanistan they still have the pull tabs and it does make you have to think for a second that you have to throw the pull tab away. Everyone here does a pretty good job of making sure they end up in the trash can. I would hate to see an old Afghan guy with a tear in his eye. (So that is an old reference to the commercial in the 70's where a Native American watched people polute and a tear came to his eye). Of course here in Afghanistan, I don't think anyone really cares about pollution. The streets are a mess and the air is filled with pollution. Those people at CARB (California Air Resources Board) would have a field day with fines over here. Not that anyone could ever pay any of them.

My week was filled with my continued learning process as I take over the operations of the Central Supply Depots for Afghanistan. I have been looking at reports, reading e-mail, taking care of problems and continuing to build my team here. It sounds like I am back at WD-40. There is so much to do and only a year to do it in. I certainly realize I can't do everything and that is not really my mission here. I am here to do my part to raise the bar a bit and make the Afghan Army operate a little better. It will take some real focus here as there could be so many priorities. I am still travelling all over Kabul going to various warehouse sites and headquarters buildings. I am being safe and I make sure that my team is doing the same.

(you have to sing again, you remember the tune)

Well now its time to say goodbye to Wade and all his thoughts.
And he would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin' in.
You're all invited back again to this reality
To have a heapin helpin of some more verbosity

Narmy life, that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Peace to you all,

Pat
www.wadeaminute.blogspot.com
Next week I will give you the origin of my blog name. We in the business call that a teaser, so you will come back next week.

It *IS* better to give than receive

One of the wonderful things we have the opportunity to do here in Afghanistan is help the Afghan people. (Side note: people of Afghanistan are called Afghans and their money is called Afghanis so don't mix the two up).

I had the opportunity to visit a local school here in Kabul and see the beautiful children in class. We went on a humanitarian mission where we gave out chalkboards, pencils, markers, blankets, toys and candy. We visited a small school where they teach children ages 3 to 7. The instructors are all women and they run the school very well. The children were some of the most well behaved kids I have ever seen. When the teacher told them to sit they all sat on the carpeted floor and listened attentively. It is amazing how children all over the world are basically the same. They love to laugh and play and enjoy getting gifts and all of them love candy. We spent about an hour with the children and the teachers and Andy Bystrom who I am relieving actually taught the children a short lesson about right and left. It really was a rewarding experience to be able to make a difference for these kids and the school and they were all very appreciative. Camp Phoenix has many humanitarian missions and people here are very passionate about giving. Many of you have asked about what you can do to help. Well the soldiers, sailors and airmen here are well taken care of so the best thing you can do is send items for the Afghan people. If you would like to get involved, you may send items such as school supplies, toys, clothes and candy (not chocolate because it melts). If you send them to me I will collect them and make sure they are gathered up for the next humanitarian mission. You may send items to:

Patrick Wade
Navy ETT - Supply
Camp Phoenix
APO AE 09320

(Please note I added something to my address, Supply, to make sure it gets to me quickly)

I am still conducting my turnover with Andy which consists of many meetings and going through files and understanding what still needs to be done to train the people here in proper supply procedures. Basically, it is like any other job except you have interpreters here so we can speak to the ANA (Afghan National Army) and the civilian workers. I also work with the Army, Air Force and the Navy and for the most part we all get along and people are committed to getting the job done. There is still a lot of work to do in this country and we are all doing our part to ensure that Afghanistan can operate on its own some day.

Everyday, I travel in convoys to the different sites around Kabul looking at operations and learning more about how they run and who the people are. I also had the chance to enjoy some local cuisine at one of our warehouses. A local vendor provided a great meal of shishkabobs, rice, potatoes, meatballs and other fine foods. It was very tasty and I had no bad after effects, if you know what I mean. Of course if I do encounter side effects, I am armed with my Immodium. You see the water in Afghanistan is not fit for drinking, at least for Americans. Water is one of the critical things this country needs. They have a saying, "A little water, a little hope". Once again I am reminded, no water and a Navy guy, what is wrong with this picture? On the military bases we have have bottled water everywhere and people drink it by the gallons. It is amazing how fast you dehydrate here with the warm weather and dry climate.

I also had my first chance to drive over here. You have to be very careful while at the same time you must drive assertively because you do not want to stop as that increases your chances for trouble. The roads are dangerous and not just because of the other drivers. This is a war situation and you have to be ready for anything. Fortunately, in my short time, I have not encountered anything. There are many fellow military people who left Camp Phoenix this week to go down range to some pretty dangerous places. We all are hopeful that they will be successful in their missions, which includes coming home safely.

I realized I have not given you a Dari lesson lately so here is a brief lesson on some phrases we need to know. Baw ma byaw - Come with me. Estawda sho - Stop. Chop bawsh - no talking. Daowr bekho - turn around. Rooy ba del beft - lie on your stomach. Shor nakho - do not move. Maqawemat nako - do not resist. Wait a minute here. I just realized I think I have been "punked". I think someone gave me the lines to a cheap Afghan porn movie; lesson over.

On Friday the local bazaar came to town. This is the big bazaar with over 100 local vendors who sell their goods to the people here on Camp Phoenix. They are good negotiators so you must bring out your best bargaining skills. It looks a lot like a flee market in the states and they sell everything including carpets, blankets, jewelry, weapons, sunglasses, clothes and dust collecting trinkets. I bought a few things, but I need to learn more about the gems they have here such as rubys and sapphires before I buy any of them. I of course plan on putting the rubys on my slippers and see what happens. You never know...

Peace to you all,

Pat
http://www.wadeaminute.blogspot.com/
As always, if you can't get enough of these updates, the previous ones are posted on my blog.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I am sure you all remember that movie where Steve Martin and John Candy (rest his soul) had a miserable time traveling by all the means listed. My trip was not exactly the same and it consisted of Planes, Buses and Trucks (of course that didn't sound as good so I used the movie title). As I mentioned in the last update we arrived in Kuwait and waited. Everyone was anxious to get on with our mission so schedules were shuffled and we found a flight to a local base in Afghanistan, not our final destination, but much closer. We arrived in the middle of the night and fortunately there was a flight the next morning (actually the same morning because it was so late.) We stayed up all night and caught our flight to get us to Kabul International Airport (did you notice the initials, KIA, yes that's right the same as killed in action, so no one calls it that, we use the more friendly name of the Korean car). We then loaded up in trucks and made our way to our final destination called Camp Phoenix. This camp is a little like Phoenix back in the 1800's, lots of dust and dry and hot. Our trip from the airport to Phoenix was surreal. This truly is a third world country. As we drove we saw farmers working their fields, people walking beside the pothole filled road and children all watched as we passed giving us the "thumbs up" signs. It was just like pictures I have seen with the children dressed in rags with dirt on their faces, but they seemed happy. If you have ever been to Tijuana, I thought that was poor, well this place is far worse. The average annual income is less than $350 per year and it is amazing how they survive. One good thing is they don't have a weight problem like we have in the states. They have a long way to go to building a stable economy, but one step at a time.

A little about Camp Phoenix, it is a fairly nice base for Afghanistan. There is a Post Exchange, post office, laundry service (this is nice, you just drop off your laundry and they wash it for you free, its just like home with Rebecca except at home I don't have to count my underwear), a pretty nice dining facility (we actually had steak and crab legs on Friday night), a nice gym and recreation center. Of course there are large walls and razor wire surrounding the place and plenty of bunkers in case of attacks. I live in shipping container that measures 7 feet by 9 feet (it is actually half of a shipping container, but at least it is private), I think prisoners get an 8' by 10' cell, not that I have ever been in a cell and of course they gave me a key so I can come and go as I please. No matter how small, at least it is better than a tent with a cot, I have my own bed, nothing else in the room right now I will have to work on that. One great thing is I have internet access in my room so I am able to do e-mail at my leisure.

A little about Afghanistan, it is a relatively small country about the size of Texas. It is almost 6,000 feet in elevation so it beats Denver for elevation. I can definitely feel the effects of the elevation as I went running and was short of breath, of course the dust and smog in the air did not help. They say it takes about two weeks to get aclimatized. I am 11 and a half hours ahead of West coast time. Yes there is a half hour in there. You might wonder how they figured that out. Here is a brief summary of the time zones for your education purposes.
There are 25 integer World Time Zones from -12 through 0 (GMT) to +12. Each one is 15° of Longitude as measured East and West from the Prime Meridian of the World at Greenwich, England. Some countries have adopted non-standard time zones, usually 30 minutes offset. Some of those countries are: India, Pakistan, Nepal, Iran, Afghanistan, Central Australia, Newfoundland. Nepal is actually 5:45 ahead of UT. So with all the variations there are actually 39 time zones due to political boundaries and other offsets. The largest time gap along a political border is the 3.5 hour gap along the border of China (UTC +8) and Afghanistan ( UTC+4:30 ).

As I load my magazine with my 5.56 mm rounds (well not right now, I am typing and I can't do both at once, but I was loading my magazine and had to stop to type what I was thinking) I realize this is for real. These are not blanks and we are not playing. We are in war-torn Afghanistan and we need to be prepared for anything. I think for everyone here it has become real and people take it very seriously as they should. All our training will now come into play so we all come home safely.

Today is Sunday, a regular work day here in Afghanistan. Friday is like our Sunday in the states due to the Muslim religion so Fridays are our one day off. But today is Sunday so we decided to go to the range and fire some weapons since we had not shot anything for about 3 weeks and everyone was getting itchy trigger fingers. Not really, it is however a good time to check our weapons and get some more practice. We set up our convoy and headed out in town which was quite an experience. Did you know that that they do not have driver's licenses here and they have no driver training. It would be obvious to you if you saw how they drive. I thought China and Italy were crazy, but this place takes the prize. There are no lanes and cars drive anywhere on and off the street. In addition there are potholes everywhere and dirt roads next to the main road. So taxes are really a good thing because without them you get Afghanistan. There were people all along the side of the road so you had to avoid potholes, crazy drivers and people walking along the street. We finally arrived at the range, which was really just the base of a mountain with some old Russian tanks out in a field as our targets. We shot our M4 rifles, M9 pistols, an AK47, a couple of other foreign weapons and then the big thrill was firing an RPG. This is a shoulder held rocket launcher and is pretty cool. You may have seen one if you saw the movie "Blackhawk Down". It was amazing how loud an RPG is. Overall a fun day. We knew it was time to go when a big dust storm started and we were getting blown away by sand and dirt. The whole place is dirt, so when the wind blows you need to find shelter. Have you ever gotten dirt blown deep into your ear? I did, so I guess it is good that I have some good wax buildup to stop it from getting all the way to my brain.

I am meeting regularly with the team I am relieving and learning all the progress they have made during their time and the issues I will face. It will be a very interesting and exciting year. For those who want to see pictures, they will be posted on my blog http://www.wadeaminute.blogspot.com/ in about a week.

Peace to you all,
Pat

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

As Dorothy so brilliantly remarks in the Wizard of Oz, "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore", I've got that same feeling because it is true. I have left Kansas for good. It was an experience and it was time to leave. We're not in Kansas anymore, but we are not in Afghanistan yet. We arrived in Kuwait after about 20 hours of plane rides and bus rides and now we are awaiting transportation to Afghanistan. The word of the day for Kuwait is "sand". This makes sense considering it is a desert. It really is quite a nice camp (that is what the army calls these overseas bases, kind of makes is sound a bit fun like summer camp only everyone's walks around with weapons and the "camp counselors" are grumpy army guys). So we are located at Camp Virginia (it is nothing like Virginia) and it really does have a lot of amenities for the troops. There is a movie theater, a couple small shops, a main exchange (that is like the Wal-Mart of the military), several fast food places (yes McDonalds and Subway have made it here), a gym, chapel (no I did not make it to church as we were traveling), basketball and volleyball courts. It is sunny and warm and there is sand everywhere. It is almost like being at a resort except for the lack of an ocean and the fact that we are in a military zone. We are living in tents that hold 14 people and we sleep on cots. So anything bad I said about Fort Riley accommodations I must take back to an extent. Fortunately, we did not have any work to do so we could enjoy the "resort" and relax all day. There is a bit of history here as well. This location is where some of the major battles of Desert Storm took place.

Getting here was interesting. We had all our duffle bags packed and of course the army ordered rain so when we staged our bags for loading on trucks everything got nice and wet. We then had our check in, which is called manifesting. We all got weighed in with our carryon bags and weapons (I won't tell you how much I weighed in at; it was all in my luggage). We received a motivational brief from the General and then we loaded up on buses for the beginning of our long trip. I was designated at the convoy commander for the whole trip, meaning I had to count people and keep track of them the whole time. It is a bit like being the teacher on a school field trip. "Everyone make sure you have your buddy with you so you don't get lost." I did not make them hold hands.

The journey continues and I will be right here for you reporting my experiences and hopefully some funny observations.

Once again, peace to you all,

Pat

There's No Place Like Home

Training in Kansas provides many opportunities to think of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, in fact the Wizard of Oz museum is located not far from Fort Riley. I, unfortunately, did not get a chance to visit this fine tourist attraction although there were many times I felt like I was in the land of Oz with the wonderful wizard at the controls. We had some relatively calm and slow days for our final week at Fort Riley. Our time was devoted to cleaning weapons, cleaning up our spaces, packing and turning in some of the training gear we had been issued. We also scrambled to change airline flights as we found out that we were given a couple extra days of time off before we ship out to Afghanistan. We ended our week with a small graduation ceremony and said our short "see ya laters", (we were going to be back in a week and see each other again, so no need for tears, besides which there is no crying in the Narmy!)

So after graduation, I clicked the heels of my desert boots together and said my lines just like Dorothy, "There's No Place Like Home." A short 12 hours later I was home in San Diego after waiting around the airport and experiencing a short delay in my flight. I did manage to get a direct flight from Kansas City to San Diego on Southwest Airlines so that saved some time. For those who have flown on Southwest you know they have open seating and have a letter code for boarding. You can either be an "A" and be the first group and be excited at getting a good seat, have B and hope for the best, or be in the "C" group and be assured of getting a crappy middle seat. Since I had purchased my ticket with a military discount (which was still $450 because of the late booking), Southwest required that I check in at the airport instead of using the on-line check in 24 hours before my flight. I was pleasantly surprised to get a "B" as my boarding assignment and thought I had a chance to at least get an aisle in the way back of the plane. As everyone was standing in their assigned lines (an hour early of course, because everybody wants to make sure they get a good spot) I began to notice there was nobody in the "C" line and I was at the end of the "B" line. I started to realize that my odds were not good and I was going to be squished into a middle seat. I was sadly correct, and wedged myself into my middle seat for my flight home. I did not care much as I was going home. As I flew home, I thought about that very clear lack of "C" boarding assignments. Was the airline trying to create a sense of false hope by not giving anyone the dreaded "C" boarding pass? Did people actually feel better when they got a "B" instead of a "C". I know I did for a moment. Perhaps Southwest felt that giving people hope was part of their duty and having that hope ripped away at the gate was merely a circumstance beyond their control. Kind of like when the Navy sent me a notice confirming my 20 years would be completed in May 2007...

As I was saying, there's no place like home. I was very fortunate to spend some great time with Rebecca, Thomas and Madigan. Whether we were playing a game together or just having a meal with each other it was great just being with them. Rebecca asked me what food I missed the most and I said "sushi", so we went to lunch together at our little sushi place at the shopping center, Sushiyama, and enjoyed some great fish. Not too much sushi in Kansas, and I doubt there is any in Afghanistan.

We had a wonderful Easter holiday and the Easter Bunny hid lots of eggs and two very nice baskets for the kids. He snubbed me as usual and left a big mess of the carrots we left out. I will have to talk to him next year; I wonder if you can send letters to the Easter Bunny? I also had a nice time with Thomas and Madigan shooting off rockets at the park. Pretty amazing how high and far those things go. In fact one went so high and so far that we lost it. After about a half hour of searching we called off the search party and decided it would be easier to buy another rocket. On Tuesday we went to Legoland. We got there right at opening so we were able to jump on a bunch of the good rides before it got too crowded. After the crowds came we spent time in the various playgrounds at the park. It was a beautiful day. Rebecca and I had some alone time and she had the great idea to do a picnic at the beach. We sat on the sand with the waves crashing a few feet away and shared a nice bottle of wine munching on some cheese and shrimp cocktail. I will definitely miss the beach, if you check out a world map you will notice that Afghanistan is land-locked, a perfect place for Navy personnel. On my last day in San Diego, I had the chance to go by WD-40 Company and see some of the folks at the office.

As I write this, I am counting down the hours until I fly back to Kansas and then it is off to Afghanistan where I will spend a fun-filled year in the desert. You might notice this update is a little late, I guess I was enjoying myself too much to break away and sit at the computer. I will probably be a little bit out of touch for the next couple weeks as I get to Afghanistan and get settled. Also remember for those you have missed some of the e-mail updates, they are posted on my blog at wadeaminute.blogspot.com.

Peace to you all,

Pat

Milestones

Back in olden times as travelers went across the country they would look for stones in the road that would mark how far they had traveled. These were called milestones. This definition still holds true, but today we use the word to identify a significant event in our lives. I have reached one of those milestones in my journey. This week we completed the training here at Fort Riley and we graduate next week. This is significant because we are now prepared for our mission in Afghanistan, at least from a tactical perspective. As I reflect back on what we have learned, we have had some incredible learning. The entire team has been trained on numerous weapons, vehicles, equipment, and possible threats and learned a great deal about the language and culture of Afghanistan. I will learn the specific duties I will perform when I arrive in country and meet with my counterpart there. I am thankful we will have a short break prior to flying over to Afghanistan. We received some positive news and we should have about 7 days instead of the original 4 days. I am looking forward to seeing my family.

It was an interesting week because there was definitely a feeling of "senioritis" as everyone was excited about completing the final week of training. Fortunately, we were well trained and going through the exercises this week went smoothly as we conducted drills testing our knowledge of what we had learned. You can think of it as our final exam and our actions came very naturally. I suppose we are all "lean, mean, fighting machines". (Yes, this is once again another reference from the movie "Stripes", and I can think of no better movie to illustrate what we have been doing.)

Early in the week, I did have an opportunity to do some specific supply training, which consisted of the Army contracting procedures, how to handle funds and business ethics. Yes, just like in business, we have to go through ethics training. In summary, we are not allowed to accept goat milk or goats as gifts from our Afghan counterparts. Not that any of us would even drink the milk lest we suffer the consequences of a week long engagement with the toilet. You see some of the food and drink in Afghanistan may not sit well with our soft American constitutions. Later in the week we conducted more convoy drills and battle drills designed to put together all that we had learned and see how we performed. Our team did pretty well and the scenarios were very realistic. On one scenario, we traveled in our HUMMWV's to make shift village with our ANA (Afghan National Army) counterpart and had a meeting with the mayor of a small village. We discussed the situation in his village and he informed us that there were Taliban forces just a short distance from his village. So we mounted up and set off to meet our informant who would direct us to the insurgent hideout. We stopped atop a ridge and met our informant who told us the insurgent forces were over on another ridge about a mile away. So off we went on foot, down one hill and through the woods and then up another hill. There we met gunfire (we are all using blanks, so it is a bit like playing Army men as a kid), we returned fire and defeated the bad guys. It sounds like a nice little trek through the woods until you remember that we were carrying that 70 pounds of gear on our body. Needless to say, I was covered in sweat and dirt. It was a fun exercise though and the team then had an opportunity to offroad a bit in our trucks. I have attached a random picture of me holding our M240 machine gun, a little "Ramboesque".

At the end of the week we thanked our Army training team for the great job they did. I also got a visit from my brother, Bill, who came into town from Dallas. It was great to see him and we had a nice dinner and went out for some drinks with the Navy and Army guys. He got to experience what military guys do on liberty (OK it's not that exciting we just drink, tell stories and curse a lot). On Sunday we spent that day touring Fort Riley, there is an incredible amount of history here. We went to the cavalry museum and looked at Custer's house (that is General Custer) and saw lots of statues and monuments. In my time here, I had not had an opportunity to do that so it was great for me too.

Well we graduate on Thursday, I am sure it won't be a big hat throwing ceremony, although I am going to suggest we all throw some boots in the air since we have so many. I doubt anyone will take my suggestion, something about a safety concern with that. Can you imagine the report, "Following the Class 17 graduation, exuberant students hurled boots into the air; 4 personnel sustained concussions, 6 personnel suffered lacerations on their shoulders and numerous personnel suffered stubbed toes." I suppose I will just take my extra boots home.

When you hear from me next, I should be home in San Diego, enjoying a nice break.

Peace to you all,

Pat

Girl Scout Cookies

Apparently it is Girl Scout Cookie season because we are being inundated with lots of cookies and not the homemade kind. Everyone is trying to share their cookies they have received, but everyone already has several boxes of them. I am thinking of selling them back to the girl scouts; don't you get some prize for the most cookies sold? And have you noticed how many flavors of cookies there are now? I remember a few years back there were about 3 flavors of cookies, I think they were the sugar cookies, Smores, and of course the thin mints. Now there is every variety you can think of including cafe cookies, Peanut Butter Patties, Peanut Butter Sandwiches (did they really need two Peanut Butter cookies?), Shortbread, Cartwheels, Caramel Delights, Lemonades, and Thanks A Lot. One of my favorite varieties is the "All Abouts", I am all about the "All Abouts". And what about the little brownies? Brownies aren't a cookie they are a brownie, hence the name. Shouldn't there be some investigation on the girl scouts and false advertising or something for selling brownies as cookies? And another thing, I don't think the girl scouts are really making these cookies, I just can't picture them in some tree house cranking out 15 varieties of cookies to go peddle to the entire population. If the girl scouts want to make some money though, they really should set up a stand at Fort Riley selling to all these military folks here in Kansas, they are suckers for boxes of cookies and of course for girls in uniforms.

Rebecca set up Blog site for the family. It is not quite a MySpace thing, although I suppose it could get close to that. For those non-techies out there a blog (short for weblog) is a personal online journal that is frequently updated and intended for general public consumption. The author of a blog is often referred to as a blogger. Being a blogger doesn't sound like the most attractive name to be called and since Rebecca really set up the site, I am merely a blogger wanna be. If you start calling me a blogger, I may have to hunt you down and hurt you. Actually, I would be proud to be called a blogger if I knew what I was doing. Believe me, I am just figuring this stuff out too. If you are interested in visiting the site it is http://wadeaminute.blogspot.com/. Right now it has my updates and a few pictures of the family Rebecca posted.

I thought I would share a brief statement from a friend of mine, Andy Bystrom, who is in Afghanistan. I will be relieving him of his position when I arrive. He gives a bit more detail of what the position is. "Now for the Wild Wild East of Supply - I feel very fortunate for my position as the Mentor/OIC/Commander of the Central Supply Depot (CSD) which receives, stores, and issues Class II, IV, VI, VII, IX materials (basically everything except ammo, food, fuel, and medical supplies) to the Afghan National Army (ANA) from Depot-1, Depot-2, TMSI Warehouse, Central Issuing Facility (CIF) and 22 Bunker sites. The depot currently maintains a stock list of over 1100 items of supplies worth 170 million dollars. These national depots support over 180 ANA units to include the Police, Detainee Operations, and Ministry of Interior. CSD has 240 personnel, 2 dogs, and 4 cats. 21 of the personnel are Navy and they are a great bunch of sailors." Thanks Andy for letting me share that.

This week was filled with lots of HUMMWV driving, we are getting quite good at this stuff. It used to take our team about two hours to prepare our vehicles and do briefings and start rolling, we can now do it under an hour. Monday was a pretty interesting, it was Mounted Combat Patrol obstacle course. You drive around a set course looking for danger and react as you would in a real situation. It is all simulated with various Army personnel playing the bad guys using blanks (blank ammunition) and smoke bombs. We encountered 3 IED's, 1 VBIED (that is the vehicle borne IED), small arms fire, an oncoming vehicle attack, towed one of our vehicles after some damage, provided medical help to casualties, called in a Medevac (Medical Evacuation) and set up a TCP (Traffic Control Point) where we stopped a vehicle loaded with weapons. I am very pleased to say our team did quite well on all the scenarios. Although, if I was ever to have a real day like that one you might find me huddled in the corner afraid to come out, it was a bit stressful. The intent of the exercise was to throw too much at you so you would learn from your mistakes. Tuesday was more mounted combat patrol, but on a range. This was another course where we drive from one site to the next and engage the enemy with our Crew Serve Weapons (Machine guns) and report all our activities to higher up. It was more of a communication drill than anything else. The neat thing was we did ride in Up-Armored HUMMWV's which have armor plating to stop bullets. The bad thing was the seating area is very small and we are all wearing our Kevlar helmets, body armor, knee pads and have rifles and pistols. I would like to find the guy who designed these vehicles and squeeze him into a very cramped space for hours and throw things at him. I can only guess that this guy was 5' 5" and 140 pounds and he said to himself, "my these things are roomy." We have some guys here that are 6' 4" and 6' 5" and they have a heck of a time.

Wednesday we had a nice diversion from driving and getting attacked, we were in the classroom for DAGR training. I know that sounds really neat, I thought it sounded good too. I was imagining learning all kinds of special knife throwing and special agent stuff. Turns out it was another acronym for the military's GPS. We used the handheld GPS units and learned how to set up points in them and then we went out and tracked various locations. Mine kept trying to lead me right to my rack (that is a bed, I obviously have been doing this military stuff too long), but I got back on course and found the tree that we were supposed to find. In the afternoon we had a great time. All the teams went to the confidence course on Fort Riley. It is a funny name, Confidence Course, it is really an obstacle course where the entire team needs to accomplish each obstacle together. I imagine if you are successful you get more confidence and if not successful, there must be a "loser course" somewhere. Our team did a great job and had a lot of fun, we had the best time in one obstacle where you needed to climb a rope wall and bring up a casualty and then take it down the other side. After that we crawled in the dirt under barbed wire, carried logs across beams on the ground (a balancing trick) and then we had to figure out how to get across parallel beams set 15 feet apart without touching the ground. There were several other events, but we ended the course going over the high wall, where you run and jump over a 10 foot wall, it was just like the Army films you see. I of course was the "big toe" for my team. (Editor's note: Big Toe Explanation If you have seen the movie “Stripes,” the classic comedy about the Army, you may recall the scene in which Bill Murray volunteers to lead his platoon. “An Army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe,” he said to his fellow Soldiers. “And Sergeant Hulka (their platoon sergeant) isn’t always gonna be there to be that big toe for us.” Someone posted the video clip on You Tube, it's in reference to something with David Letterman but it's the best I can do... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-RWNn_baQk)

Thursday we were back on our trucks heading out to the small arms range and firing at targets. This exercise was how to move and shoot with your weapon. It was a bit controlled but fun nevertheless. There is always great concern for safety, that is a good thing. When you put loaded weapons in peoples hands and have them walk around, you tend to get a little nervous. On Friday we did what is called Battle Drill 6. This is how to clear a room and I don't mean by letting loose a bean and cheese burrito fart. (Can I say that? I know this is a family show, but farts are always funny, at least my kids think so.) This is when teams enter a room and start shooting at bad guys to make sure they secure the area and then move on to the next room. It is a little like an episode of "Cops"; "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when we come for you." We learned that clearing rooms is extremely dangerous and chaotic. We were using blanks and firing all over the place and the bad guys were firing back. We had a lot of people get hit. Fortunately we found out that the Navy will not be used for this type of engagement so it was all good learning and fun.

On Saturday we were back to our mounted combat patrol on the range, this time with live ammo. We ran through the range course firing at pop up targets. Sometimes our shooting was good, sometimes, not so much good. I think when we ran through it the second time, we were all thinking about the weekend, so we missed a bunch of targets. Now don't tell the bad guys that or they will figure out, if they attack on Saturday's the Americans are worried about their weekends and they will not fight well. Of course that plan would completely backfire on them as there are no weekends, at least as we know it; we are on all the time.

We graduate from Fort Riley in less than two weeks and then we get some time at home before shipping out. My brother Bill is planning to come visit next weekend. It should be a good time. He is older than me so I don't have to be the oldest dirty old man when we go out in Manhattan.

Take care until next time,

Pat

The Countdown

It is hard to believe that I have been on this journey for 59 days, only 481 to go, but who's counting. Well I am and I think Rebecca and the kids are too. It's not that I am making little tick marks on the wall like in prison, these are modern times... I am using a white board. Seriously though, it is amazing to think that just 2 months ago, I was home in San Diego not knowing for sure what I would be doing and now I am turning into an Army infantryman. I recall back then, thinking: why is a 41 year old man in the Navy going to a landlocked country across the world to perform a mission I do not understand? Now I look at what I am doing, and all the training I am receiving, and I know what I am and will do is worthwhile. I have had to make sacrifices and so has my family, but when my duty is complete, I am confident this will be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Here is another count for you. Did you know this e-mail goes to 236 people. I guess that is what I get for letting Rebecca log onto my Gmail account and add recipients. If not for her, I am sure I would only have 50 or so on the list. I have heard from many of you that you are forwarding it on to others to read ... so there could be thousands reading these updates. I am glad most everyone is enjoying the updates, it certainly does put some pressure on me to be creative though, and I will continue to do my best. Occasionally, we do have times when the Internet availability here goes down, which happened last week. This can create some delays in my note getting out. Rest assured, I am on the job and I will get updates out, despite the technical difficulties.

This was a really fun and exhausting week. We sent a lot of rounds down range. That is Army speak for we shot a lot of bullets at targets at the firing range. We shot the M2 50 caliber machine gun during the day and night. This is a weapon you really want around when hundreds of insurgents are storming your position... or for you hunters out there, I am sure it would hit a few deer, turkeys, rodents or anything else you might want to stop in their tracks. We also shot the M240 and M249 (saw) machine guns. Very cool weapons, these might be something you see Rambo using as he is running through the woods. I am sure these would come in handy for when I am taking orders for supplies and people don't fill out their paperwork correctly. "I told you I need that form in triplicate!" That would straighten them out. Another cool weapon is the MK19, pretty much a grenade type launcher that blows up a small area, good for blowing people out of bunkers. Some of the best training we had was on foreign weapons. We shot an AK47, that is the Russian made rifle. We shot a Russian machine gun and sniper rifle. You might ask, why are we shooting Russian weapons? Well, the Afghan military uses these weapons and I suppose if we are going to be with them, we should be familiar with their weapons. I am sure the Russians left a few of these laying around after they went running home. For you WD-40 people, it was interesting to see that the guys using the foreign weapons had several cans of the WD-40 Smart Straw that they were using to lubricate the weapons. I took a picture of me with the can and the weapons together. It was on a disposable camera so I will have to mail the picture in to the office. I am sure we could use it for our future ad campaigns in Russia and Afghanistan. The US Army does not allow us to use WD-40 on weapons, they use CLP, a poor substitute.

So that was the fun part, shooting all the weapons. The exhausting part was staying out at the range until almost 2 am and then getting up the next day to do it all over again. Each day we went to the range we conducted convoy operations to get there. We would travel around in our HUMMWV's in a convoy and conduct training along the way. Most days we would travel in small teams, but one day we decided to go as one big group with 12 vehicles following each other. I was elected as convoy commander for the group. I am happy to say the evolution went off without a hitch. Our call sign for the convoy was "Sand Dog" and as we neared our destination, I came on over the radio and made the following announcement, "This is your Convoy Commander speaking, our destination is just ahead on the left. I hope you have enjoyed your trip and I thank you for choosing Sand Dog for your convoy travels. We know you have a choice in convoys and I hope you will think of Sand Dog for your future convoys." It was a little funny, other than that I was extremely professional. And guess what happens after you shoot all these weapons, that's right, you have to clean them. We had a big gun cleaning party on Friday afternoon and made those weapons shine. The Lava came in handy afterwards since our hands were all covered in carbon and oil. You see I still am a company man, two plugs for WD-40 products and here is a third, I am using X-14 to clean my bathroom and have shared some with others.

We ended our week with Combatives, if you recall that is the Army wrestling I mentioned in a previous update. As happens with guys, the testosterone starts flowing and some people get a little carried away. We had two people going all out in a match and it ended with an accidental head butt to a nose which resulted in a little blood and a possible broken nose. Boys will be boys. I, of course, was smart and operated at quarter speed to avoid any injuries.

I found out this week what I will be doing in Afghanistan. I am going to relieve a buddy of mine, Andy Bystrom, as the Central Issue Facility Commander. This is the Afghan military distribution network and is right in line with my background, so I am pleased with this news. Andy was deployed last year and I am sure he is eagerly awaiting my arrival so he can go home.
It was St. Patrick's Day this week, I hope you all enjoyed yourself. I of course had to live up to my name and have a few beers for the occasion.

Take care and peace to you all,

Pat

Everything is Relative

To my family and friends,

When we last left our heroes, we heard about the fine living conditions at Fort Riley. I must always remember, everything is relative (and relatives are everything), and after hearing of the concerns at Walter Reed Hospital, I suppose we don't have it so bad. (Editor's note: I beg to differ... here is a picture of the "facilities" out on the range.)
It has given me a new perspective on living conditions and also reinforced the idea that I do not want to get injured and go to the Army hospital so I will keep my head down. I am sure it would not be as bad as Tom Cruise in "Born on the Fourth of July" and who hasn't sat in soiled undergarments for a few hours. Not me. In reality, the media sensationalized the story about Walter Reed Hospital because it does make for a better story and that is what we are all about, good stories.

Speaking of stories, I shared one about the female Lieutenant who was having trouble with qualifying on the range. She has since been sent home and I think it was the best thing for everyone concerned.

This was a relatively light week (you see once again, everything is relative). We had lots of classroom training, go figure since the weather was actually pretty nice. I am sure the Army plans things this way, bad weather train outside, good weather sit in a classroom. They must have really good weather guessers. We also trained on our Crew Serve Weapons (those are the machine guns mounted on our HUMMWV's), we did not do any live firing but we learned how to take them apart and put them back together. They have lots of parts, much more than our M4 rifles or M9 pistols. Not to scare anyone, but we did have an entire class on IED's, those are the Improvised Explosive Devices I am sure you have all heard about. The class was all about how to recognize and avoid them and what to do if you do encounter them. What I really learned was to stay the heck away from them. I am hopeful the training will never have to come into play during my tour. We also had some classes on Detainee Ops, this was how to avoid another Abu Graab (not sure of the spelling). I guess we are not supposed to lead prisoners around by leashes with hoods on their heads and they are supposed to be given clothes. There were a few people in the class that were a little disappointed by this news; I will have to keep my eye on them. We also had a class in Traffic Control Points, I was thinking this could be a good fallback career working for CALTRANS creating traffic jams. This is actually important training on how to safely monitor vehicle traffic around the roads of Afghanistan. I am told there are roads there and not a single tollbooth, I will find out soon enough.

The majority of our week was spent on Military Intelligence. I know that is an oxymoron, however the training was very informative and useful. We learned how to be investigators, some real CSI type stuff. I am planning to submit the idea to CBS, CSI Kabul; you can never have enough CSI's. Hey they would still have a long way to go to catch up to the 8 Law and Order shows. I think I would cast Robert Downey Jr. as lead investigator, Hamed Hussein Abdul Al Assi. In the first episode, Hamed would be struggling with a Heroin addition, I think Robert Downey Jr. could play that well. You see that is funny because Robert Downey Jr had a drug problem and the major export from Afghanistan is poppy seeds for use in heroin. I thought I might have to explain my reference there for those who don't follow movies or Afghanistan's economy. So that would be just the first episode, I am sure there would be lots of stories to develop a long running series. Random thought: isn't it funny how you must say some people's entire name, like Robert Downey Jr.? It doesn't sound right if you just say Robert. I wonder what his friends call him? Did his parents intend for people to use his full name? He doesn't seem like a Bob. Or how about other famous people with just one name like, Madonna, Prince, or Cher. How do they sign their checks? When I get to Afghanistan, I will have to pose these important questions to the locals because they tend to use 5 names all strung together.

For those of you interested in what I did for entertainment this weekend, we chartered a 40 passenger bus and headed to Lawrence , KS (home of the Kansas, Jayhawks) to see a concert by The Red Jump Suit Apparatus. They are an alternative, slightly punk band whose base player is the son of our Commanding Officer. A good time was had by all.

A couple of pieces of big news from the home front. My Daughter, Madigan, got her cast off. She still sleeps with it next her at night for comfort, I guess you get fond of things attached to your body after a few weeks. Also, my brother Matt and his wife Dawn had a baby boy, Austin Matthew, on Monday. Congrats to them, your lives will never be the same, and I mean that in a mostly good way.

Until next time, this is Commander Wade, your GWOT (that is Global War On Terrorism) correspondent signing off. Stay safe and as Kasey Kasem says, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars". Kasey was best known for his America's Top 40 radio show, he was also the voice of Shaggy in Scooby Doo (bet you didn't know that one). He really was the Ryan Seacrest of the 80's.

Take care,

Pat

"It's not the Ritz"

To my family and friends,

Often I am asked about the accommodations here at Fort Riley and my simple answer is "It's not the Ritz". The Ritz Carlton is known for its great service and accommodations, in reality this place is not The Marriott either, I am not sure I could put it on par with the Motel 6, although I have stayed in some pretty bad hotels, but at least I did not have to share the room except with some roaches. You might think of this place like a college dorm room setting. I have 3 roommates, which is actually living in luxury as the majority of people live in 40 man bays with bunk beds lined up together. In addition, our room has its own bathroom so we do not have to fight for a stall or a shower. Of course this is a plus and minus depending on what we had for dinner that day.

At the end of this week I was very fortunate to get away from Fort Riley and relax at a friend's house. A good friend of mine, Pat Meriwether, who lives in Kansas City invited a couple of us over to his house for the short weekend. Pat and his wife Kathy had us over to relax and remember what a normal household is like. They have two kids Brannon and Elizabeth who are around my kids age and it reminded me of my own kids. I am really looking forward to seeing them at Easter. I truly appreciated their hospitality. I am writing this update in reverse order, kind of like one of those Quentin Tarrantino movies.

Saturday is somewhat of a stressful day if you have something to do on the weekend because everyone is trying to get out of here. It reminds me of my old Naval Academy days when we eager to get out for liberty. Part of the feelings come from the fact, that we shouldn't be working on Saturday anyway, and when you have a busy day it complicates things. So this Saturday was busy. Part of our training requirements are to execute convoy operations. This is where you have to get your team together on your HUMWWV's and convoy, think of that old song "Convoy" by CW McCall from the 70's, "Breaker One Nine, this is the Over the Hill Gang moving out". We do talk on radios but speaking in a Southern accent and calling people "Good buddy" doesn't work real well with the Army, I was informed of this during our training. Actually, there is a lot of planning that goes into a successful convoy operation. It is like planning a family picnic, someone is in charge of the maps and route, another is in charge of the supplies and someone else is in charge of the machine guns, we usually left them off during our family outings. In the end, we were successful in loading up and getting everybody out and back from our trip. Our destination was a classroom in another part of the post (base) where we practiced calling in gun support from artillery and aircraft resources. We finished the day around 6:30 PM and we were on the road for liberty around 7:00. Liberty is an interesting word, I think of freedom and that is what we are fighting for, during the week it is what we are looking forward to on the weekend.

We had a pretty fun day Friday, learning more Dari and preparing for our convoy. We also practiced a course called "Combatives" which is really just a form of wresting and choking people till they pass out. No one suffered any major injuries during this evolution and we did a get a pretty good workout. I must say the choke hold does work if you are interested in having someone pass out in about 10 seconds. I of course really don't want to be in situation where I have to fight hand to hand with the enemy, I figure things must have gone really wrong, if I get to that point. It might be handy for the bars around Manhattan though.

Earlier in the week we had various courses in understanding the organizational structure in Afghanistan, more language class and how to recover captured personnel. The week started out with a continuation of Combat Lifesaver where we had a couple of scenarios where we had to rescue injured personnel. One scenario was in dark building and we had to find casualties and administer first aid and get them out of the building. After my team completed this one I saw the Army guys do the same exercise but they used their night vision goggles so they could see in the dark. Now that would have been a good tip to know before rushing into this scene with our little flashlights. You live and learn. The second scenario was outside and we had to march in a patrol formation about a mile away and get some information from a contact out in the field. Of course we were wearing our full body armor during these drills and that adds a few pounds especially when you are trying to carry wounded people on a stretcher. Overall it was a great training evolution and our team did pretty well.

Some of you probably heard about the attack on Bagram in Afghanistan, it was on the news earlier this week. Vice President Cheney was visiting when the attack happened, he was unharmed. It reminds us all to keep vigilant.

Well that is all from Kansas until next time. I hope you and your families are all well.

Pat